ThinkSoJoE Note: This was posted a few years back on stupid5pin.com. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was only up briefly before the site came down. I figured that since it’s Sunday, a good day to go grocery shopping, I’d repost this list of things that still piss me off today about the idiots you run into at the grocery store. Enjoy!
I’ve come to the conclusion that nobody has any fucking clue about proper grocery store etiquette. So the good natured person that I am, I decided that I’d do some public service by presenting some of these rules to you.
1) If you are standing on the side of a shopping cart, and other people cannot get around you – LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT!
2) Never back up in a grocery store. If I have to explain why, you’re probably retarded and don’t mind getting hit by oncoming shopping carts.
3) If you own a grocery store, and you rennovate and move things to different aisles, please leave a sign up where those things used to be that says where it is now for at least three months. If bread was on one side of the store, and now it’s on the complete opposite side, don’t make me look for it, fuckers!
4) Cart boys – don’t try to push more carts at a time than you’re capable of – especially if you’re gonna be in the fucking way.
5) Speaking of being in the way, stock boys – work overnights so you’re not in the fucking way in the middle of the afternoon. Isn’t that just common sense?
6) If you’re going to stop and look at something on the shelf, move your card and yourself to one side of the aisle so other people can get through.
7) If it’s your first time using some kind of new technology, like the relatively new self-scanning checkouts, try things a couple of times before wasting the cashier’s time. Like, if you put a dollar in a machine, and it comes back out, try it the other direction.
8) Speaking of dollar bills, it’s the digital, self-service age, if you rip a dollar, don’t tape it back together unless you’re a bum. It’s a fucking dollar, get over it. The self-checkout machines don’t like taped up dollars.
These are just a few things that I wanted to get off my chest, hopefully next time you go to the grocery store, you’ll do your part to help improve grocery store etiquette.
Tags: Aisle, Aisles, Cashier, Common Sense, Conclusion, Dollar Bills, Fucking Clue, Grocery Shopping, Grocery Store, Least Three Months, Lose Weight, Natured Person, New Technology, People, Proper Etiquette, Retro, Self Service, Shopping Cart, Shopping Carts, Stock