I know it’s been quite a while since the last time I posted here on S5P – nearly four months, in fact – but I cannot sit idly by and watch as something that was included in the 2004 Idiocy Timeline is happening again. Here’s the original text from the 2004 Timeline, found courtesy of archive.org:
March 9, 2004 – EchoStar, the parent company of Dish Network, pulled all Viacom networks from it’s service. Networks include MTV, VH1, BET, Spike TV, Nickelodeon, and Nick at Nite among others. The satellite provider also pulled CBS (who is now mentioned in all three months thusfar of the timeline) in some areas. EchoStar has attributed this to stubbornness from Viacom, who according to EchoStar, asked for a 40% rate increase. But the President of MTV Networks said that 40% “is a lot of malarkey” and that the rate increase sought is “less than 10%.” Viacom is urging Dish subscribers to switch to a “reputable” cable or satellite provider, and cable systems in the Los Angeles area have started a coalition to convince EchoStar customers to “Dump the Dish.” Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who cares? Welcome, EchoStar, to the 2004 Idiocy Timeline!
Well, fast forward 4 1/2 years, and Time Warner Cable subscribers are seeing the following message crawling across their screens:
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Attention Time Warner Cable and Bright House Networks customers, starting tonight, you will lose NICKELODEON and 18 other channels from your TV. Don’t miss out on Dora the Explorer, SpongeBob SquarePants, iCarly and all of your favorite shows. You can stop this! Time Warner Cable customers call 1-800-762-3786, Bright House Networks customers call 1-866-309-3279 and DEMAND YOUR NICK NOW! MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD TO CALL.
I know this, because I saw it come up on my screen when I was watching That 70’s Show on The N last night. Time Warner Cable customers like myself may possibly lose 19 Viacom channels, many of which I watch regularly. Well, the following is an open letter to Time Warner Cable.
Dear Time Warner Cable,
While I understand that you believe you are looking out for me, the customer, in your dispute with MTV Networks, I also believe that your company is being unreasonable. Viacom is asking you for an increase of 25 cents per customer. If you have to charge me an extra quarter every month in order for me to keep several of my favorite channels, including Nickelodeon, Nick 2, NickToons Network, VH-1, VH-1 Classic, Palladia, Spike TV, and Comedy Central, I don’t mind – and I’m currently unemployed. If you’d like to eliminate some channels in an effort to save money, though, here is an abbreviated list of channels that I do not watch:
- TBS
- TNT
- CNN
- Headline News
- Turner Classic Movies
I would gladly trade all five of those for my 19 Viacom channels that you are threatening to remove from your lineup. I would like to ask that if you do decide to drop MTV Networks’ programming that you adjust your cable rates accordingly – I pay way too much money to not get the channels that I watch on a regular basis.
I understand that Viacom airs several of their networks’ original programming via websites such as Nick.com, SpikeTV.com, ComedyCentral.com and others for free. This does not help me with programming such as Nick at Nite’s lineup of classic television shows (including “Family Matters,” whose ninth and final season, which I hadn’t seen before, has been airing this week), or several of VH-1’s specials (such as “I Love The New Milennium,” which is airing as I type this). I would threaten to ditch your service for Verizon FiOS or a satellite provider, however, I recently locked into a new contract with your company, under the belief that you would continue to provide the same standard of service I’ve come to expect of you.
Please, Time Warner, don’t be unreasonable. Charge me the extra quarter and allow me to continue watching my favorite television networks.
Thank you,
A loyal customer.